Home for the holidays. The theme is everywhere this time of year – with images of happyfamilies gathered around holiday celebrations, making memories and enjoying the magic of the
season.

Home. Family. So many of us are lucky to have these in our lives. But the sad reality is that there are many children in foster care who have never experienced the joy of a safe, loving and secure home. This holiday season, SAFY of Kentucky is working to raise awareness about the need for foster and adoptive parents in Louisville and throughout our state.

In Louisville, there are 1,232 children in foster care, and of those, around 30 percent have a goal of adoption. Over half of these youth are over the age of 12, and most are part of a sibling group. Though younger children are often adopted relatively quickly, adoption rates drastically decrease for older youth. Nationally, only 5 percent of all children adopted in 2017 were 15-18 years old.

Children enter foster care through no fault of their own, but as unintended victims of the opioid epidemic, parental incarceration, mental illness and more. Many times, children in foster care are able to return to their birth families, and SAFY works to support this transition. When that is not an option, SAFY helps youth find forever families through adoption.

Perhaps you're wondering why raising awareness about fostering and adoption is important to me.  Many of you know that Ricky and I have 4 children. I've written very openly before about our journey through secondary infertility and miscarriage. But what you may not know is that after my second miscarriage in 2012, we considered adoption.

As parents of a child with a rare congenital birth defect, I have become painfully aware that babies with special medical needs are often given up at birth. These babies are put into foster care and usually spend years in the system awaiting someone to make them a part of their family. We connected with a few adoption agencies and began the process of researching our options. After inquiring about the adoption process, we also reached out to my husbands employer to make sure that adding another child with complex medical needs would be covered by our insurance.

I spent hours pouring over the photos of these abandoned children - some who were as old as 10 and rapidly approaching aging out of the system. I sobbed for each one that was not chosen and rejoiced for those that found their forever homes. We prayed about it and before we made our decision, I became pregnant. We welcomed baby boy #3 and just a little more than a year later, #4. Needless to say our adoption journey was put on hold indefinitely.

That's not to say that we do not think about it from time to time. My heart continues to ache for all the children who wait for their forever home. I still click the links and read the stories of the kids who seem to have been forgotten and pray all the time for loving families to scoop them up and make them theirs.

Youth in foster care need what all kids deserve – a loving, safe and permanent family who will be there not just for the holidays, but for all life’s milestones. If you have ever considered fostering and/or adoption, I urge you to take that first step. Get involved! I have never heard any families say it wasn't worth it.

This post was written in partnership with Specialized Alternatives for Families and Youth (SAFY). SAFY is a child and family nonprofit preserving families and securing futures through a model of care that includes therapeutic foster care, adoption, family preservation, behavioral health and supports for older youth. To learn more about becoming a foster or adoptive parent, visit www.SAFY.org or call 502-813-8280. You can also follow SAFY on social media at: www.facebook.com/SAFYofAmerica and www.instagram.com/safyofamerica

The other day, driving down the road in my minivan on the way to the carpool line for my kids elementary school, I scoffed at the lyrics to a pop song on the radio. I pulled to a red light, and quickly grabbed my car tweezers (the ones hidden in that little coin compartment that nobody actually uses for coins)(do they?) and attempted to pluck the hair on my chin that my youngest affectionately calls my "little friend" before abruptly changing the station to something more tolerable. I mean, the beat was catchy, I'll give her that, but there is no way I could ever listen to that trash with my children in the car. Wait, does she really get away with saying that on the radio? I better turn it back on just to check. I mean, my kids aren't in the car yet so who cares? I'm an adult. I can listen to whatever I want to. And...yep, she really does get away with saying that on the radio.

I'm exhausted - going straight from my part-time office job to assume my position in the carpool line. Which, I might add, I have timed perfectly so that I am not all the way at the back. Ain't nobody got time for that. I dig through the pile of paperwork on the passenger seat from my kids backpack that I emptied yesterday (with the intent to address during my time sitting in the carpool line) to search for the 100 calorie bag of almonds and banana I keep on hand for healthy snacking. I didn't find that, but I did find an open bag of half-eaten Cool Ranch Doritos leftover from my son's lunchbox yesterday (was it yesterday? hmmm, oh well, it'll do).

I glance in the back and realize I clearly haven't laid eyes back there in quite some time unless it was to give my arguing kids "the look" through the rear view mirror.

With 4 minutes until dismissal I silently curse myself for being so efficient to have a front-row spot. I have got to find an empty TJMaxx bag up in here to fill with all of last week's car-snacks and junk mail that have accumulated. I mean, I cannot have the principal open the van door to see my vehicle in this state. Not one but two empty DQ cups with various forms of congealed dairy, the coloring page Nolan made me save so he could "finish at home", the stinky soccer cleats, the dirty socks, is that a Tootsie Roll smashed in the floor mat? Dear God, please say it is.

Hopping out of my van I feel slightly exposed being that I'm in plain site of everyone in front of and behind me in carpool. I smile a "look at me, I'm utilizing my time wisely, I'm cleaning my van" look - then quickly realize that everyone is buried in their phone. (Duh). I mean let's be honest I would so much rather be pinning fall decor ideas on Pinterest as well but my fear of the school calling CPS when the car door opens wins out.

Voila - a tidy(ish) car. I Purell my hands and throw it in drive just as the shiny new Infiniti in front me pulls forward. I bet her car is clean, I mutter to myself. The boys jump in the car and I attempt to figure out a way to keep them occupied during the next carpool line for middle school. Shoot I forgot snacks. "It's okay mommy, I'll just have the rest of my Doritos from lunch that I saved", my youngest says. Oops.

35 minutes drags on - we've gone through 3 different movies trying to find one that doesn't glitch from all the scratches - and finally, the bell rings and the pre-pubescent children filter out. They're holding sports bags and instrument cases and cell phones. A few even have books. Gasp! I can't help but notice the length of most of the girls shorts? I mean geez, is that even comfortable? Kids these days.

As we drive home I awkwardly attempt to ask about their day. Careful to be interested but not prying, hoping I'll get more than "fine" or "good" in response. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. You never know what it's going to be at any given moment with the older ones.

I leave the radio off in case they actually want to chat (and to avoid hearing that song again) but instead drift off into thought. What I need to do when we get home. What I didn't get done. What's on the agenda for tomorrow. Oh shoot we're out of milk. I guess that means we can't have cereal for dinner (again) tonight. Unless I stop at the store. And who wants to stop at the store with 4 kids in tow? Pizza it is.

Ugh, how did I get here? When I envisioned motherhood I thought it would be magical. Snuggling freshly bathed kids in feety pajamas, home-cooked meals each night to ensure they were eating healthy day in and day out. Designated homework time and family game nights afterwards before I tuck them all in bed with a gentle kiss. Instead I often feel like I can barely get my own shit together let alone be the kind of mom, wife and friend I always wanted to be. This season is so so hard.

In an attempt to understand exactly why I feel so rattled nearly every day, I came to a very important realization. I am straddling two majorly different stages of life. I became a mom 12.5 years ago and seeing as my youngest is 5.5, I have 12.5 years until they are all officially adults.

I am literally in the middle of motherhood.

Maybe this explains the swirl of anxiety that churns in my stomach and my mind on the daily. I am wiping boogers with one hand while simultaneously discussing coming-of-age issues with my pre-teen. I am folding tiny underwear in one stack and having to re-wash t-shirts from another stack when I get a whiff of the underarms (that stank is strong, y'all). The constant shift in how I must parent - a toddler and a teen (almost) can be downright maddening. The tug of war on my heartstrings only adds to the complexity of it all. I watch with awe as my oldest becomes more and more mature, navigating some really heavy topics with composure and heart, and yet as proud as I am to watch him grow, I take one look at my youngest in his character pajamas and pray to God to let him stay little. With my younger 2 I can say I'm most definitely over the snot, but not the snuggles. I'm loving the witty banter I can carry-on with my older ones but not the rapid fire talking back and eye rolls.

I struggle. I think it's fair to say that most moms do. I struggle with feeling adequate. I'm overwhelmed. Anxious. Exhausted. I try to remember to give myself grace. To talk to God. To pray. In the heavier moments I have leaned on a therapist, tried medication, allowed myself to rest.

The truth is, every stage of motherhood is challenging. But finding the joy in each part along the way has always been easy. There is no feeling that will match the minute I locked eyes with my first born and became a mom. At the simple mention of that moment I can still feel it so deep in my core that it is sometimes hard to imagine what it will feel like when my kids are grown and I no longer need to mother in the way I do now.

For now, I'll try to soak up the good that comes with being smack dab in the middle of motherhood - and rather than being anxious about it, I will allow the sentiment of what no longer is to coexist with the excitement of what is to come.

On the day of my surgery, the nerves were in high gear. I had prepared as much as I possibly could so all that was left was to do was to get it over with.

Post-Surgery Necessities

Raise your hand if you are guilty of spending entirely too much time on your smartphone...

With technology putting everything at our finger tips - from news to Solitaire, grocery shopping to checking the weather - it makes our smart phone usage almost impossible to avoid. We mindlessly scroll social media and Pinterest making mental lists of things we are going to start doing - eat better, become more organized, save money - and then have the hardest time actually doing anything.

I set my phone down to throw a load of laundry in and from across the room hear the ding of a new text message. I stop what I'm doing, respond to the text (because not responding to texts is a huge pet peeve of mine) and then get sucked in to the black hole of Instagram, Instagram stories and Facebook just to keep the little red notifications off my screen. And then, that laundry? Well it is still sitting there, unwashed, and I begin to feel frazzled about how much I have to do and its a big ugly spin cycle of my very own making.

If you can relate, then like me, you have also probably deleted social media apps from your phone but not before announcing "I'm taking a social media break" across all platforms (insert eyeroll here). I'm eyerolling not only for the annoying, cliche declaration but also because the social media fast rarely lasts longer than a hot minute. It's just SO hard!

I wouldn't take it so far as to call it an addiction, but for many it teeters close to the edge. So how can we address it? I've tried many things to limit my own time on my phone. Here are a few simple ways that have significantly helped keep my screen time in check:

1. Turn off notifications -- Those small red dots on every app seem to scream "Look at me! Pay attention! Check this out!" It drives me crazy to have them there and even if I don't necessarily pay attention to the content it is flagging, it still takes time to clear them. Turning them off has definitely impacted my phone usage. On iPhones, go to Settings then Notifications and toggle "Allow Notifications" to the off position. If there are certain apps that you simply need to receive notifications from (like email for instance), you can manage the settings by each individual app as well.
2. Move social media apps into a folder or off your home screen -- It seems kind of silly, but by simply grouping Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest into a folder on the 2nd page of my phone, it makes the accessibility a little less convenient. Kind of goes with the out of sight out of mind theory. If they aren't staring at you from the home screen each time you pick up your phone then perhaps you won't be so inclined to open the apps.
3. Set screen time limits -- Apple recently introduced it's own monitoring capabilities on iPhones. Under Settings, Screen Time, you can see just how much you are on your phone. It breaks it down into categories and you can also see it by app. Just checking in here daily helps put things into perspective, but if you need to take it a step further you can even set limits for yourself.  "Downtime" allows you to set a specific time frame for not using your phone or you can set limits for specific apps. Bonus: this can be done for each iPhone/iPad user connected through Family Sharing which makes setting limits for kids super easy! If you don't have an iPhone, there are many apps that will monitor screen time and allow you to set limits as well.
4. Be intentional with your time -- Try making a schedule for yourself every day. Build specific tech/phone time into your schedule. For instance, set a goal that you will allow yourself a leisurely social media scroll while drinking your morning coffee but then not again until later in the day. If the evening hours are tougher for you then commit to doing something like a workout, a bath or reading a new book for at least an hour.
5. Leave your phone at home -- When all else fails, just leave your phone where you can't use it. I can't tell you how many times I have left home to run errands only to realize I accidentally forgot my phone. After that initial panic wears off ("how will I know the best way to Target without Waze?", "what if someone important calls me?", "I'll have to actually use my debit card instead of my Apple Pay?!?!") I remember there once was a time these tiny computers didn't exist and we made it just fine. I bet you will even enjoy being without it after a while. 

This past winter break, we visited my parents at their condo in Sand Key, FL near Clearwater Beach. We surprised the boys with a package of goodies a few days before we were planning to leave to break the news. Inside were fleece Mickey Mouse pajamas, Special Edition Mickey Oreos and Goldfish crackers (that I just happened to stumble upon on a Clearance rack at Target...score!), our Disney Magic Bands and customized water bottles sent to us from our Disney travel guru Susan Patel of Off to Neverland Travel.

We had been to Disney World when Ethan and Aiden were little - 3 and 4 I believe - and this would be Hudson and Nolan's first time, so it was sure to be an exciting trip for everyone. Our plan was to stay in Sand Key for several days, then drive to Disney World for a day trip and back to their condo 2 hours away for a couple days before making the drive back to Kentucky. With only 1 day in the park and having a few park hopper passes we knew we needed help to make the most of our time at Disney which is why we were so thankful for Susan's help! She took care of everything from attaching our ticket information to our Magic Bands to scheduling our Fast Passes in advance. It was great!

A few months in advance, I contacted Disney to learn more about their Disability Access Services Pass. Aiden has pretty severe ADHD and that coupled with the unique structure of his surgically separated toes makes waiting in lines almost unbearable for him (and for anyone having to wait with him). I was not sure if having Apert syndrome and ADHD would qualify him for the DAS pass, but after reading the guidelines provided on Disney's site, I felt comfortable seeking this assistance to make our trip more enjoyable. Besides, Aiden is stared at enough as it is, so the thought of subjecting him to long lines of people constantly gawking for anywhere from 30 minutes to several hours helped justify the need as well.

On the Monorail heading in to Magic Kingdom!

When we arrived at the park, we were instructed to head to a Guest Relations window to discuss getting the DAS pass. We already had Fast Pass selections - you can schedule your first 3 Fast Pass times up to 30 days in advance of your day at the park and this was done for us by Susan Patel as well. We weren't sure if we could utilize both the DAS pass and the Fast Pass system and if that provided any additional benefit. Oh boy it did!

After a quick conversation and introducing Aiden to the Guest Relations Personnel, they added the DAS designation to each of our Magic Bands. This allowed us to access and make changes to our DAS and Fast Pass selections on the app on my phone, which automatically loaded to our Magic Bands for scanning at each ride.

She explained that just like a Fast Pass, you would have to visit the attraction you wanted to ride and receive a return time. However, the DAS could be used in conjunction with a Fast Pass meaning we could get both a DAS return time AND a Fast Pass return time for the same OR different rides concurrently. For example, we were able to schedule a Fast Pass return time of 8:30 for one ride, and a DAS return time of 9:00 for the same ride if we knew we would want to ride something more than once. One extra feature of the DAS pass is that you are able to return and ride once at the time assigned or anytime thereafter for the rest of the day, whereas with a Fast Pass you must ride between the designated return time frame given (8-9am, for instance) or entrance is forfeited. Like the Fast Pass, you are still only allowed to schedule the next one once the current admittance is used, but if you plan well, you can look at wait times and park location of attractions ahead of time and decide pretty quickly which one you'd like to try to snag next. Finally, the person with the DAS pass needs to be the one securing the DAS return time and must ride the ride.

We made it!

When we entered the park, we made our way to our first two Fast Pass destinations, Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin and Space Mountain. These are two of Magic Kingdom's main attractions so our travel agent knew to secure these first as part of the 3 we got to schedule ahead of time. The boys LOVED both and after riding Space Mountain, they wanted to ride again. So...we visited the cast member near the ride entrance and scheduled a DAS return time which was in just 20 minutes! What a time saver considering the line was already over 60 minutes long! We squeezed in a ride with a short wait time - Astro Orbiter in Tomorrowland - then got right back on Space Mountain for a second time. It was great!

Astro Orbiter

Afterwards, we still had plenty of time to make it across the park to our final Fast Pass ride, Splash Mountain. We stopped and grabbed popcorn to snack on as we took in one of the character shows taking place in front of the castle. Everything was going great until...

I told the boys we needed to head to Space Mountain to make our time slot and didn't see a low curb surrounding the area in front of the castle due to the amount of people stopped taking in the show. My ankle rolled, I heard a 'POP' and down I went. Ugh. We had only been in the park for a little over an hour at that point. The boys were so worried about me and I knew they were afraid this would put a huge damper on our only day at Disney. A cast member quickly came to my side and asked if I was okay and if I wanted him to call an ambulance. I already had hundreds of people staring at me since I was facing the direction of everyone watching the show so I said "no thank you!" to the ambulance. An EMS guy asked me some questions and even though I knew it was injured pretty bad - either a bad sprain or possibly broken - I was NOT going to ruin our Disney adventure.  They wrapped my ankle with ice and an ace bandage, got me some Ibuprofen a wheel chair and off we went! We could still make it to the Fast Pass time for Splash Mountain! I of course wasn't going to ride, but no sense in the boys not making it on!

Back to the spot where I broke my ankle :( Stupid curb!

Unfortunately, the wheel chair was not the kind that I could elevate my foot and after an hour or so I decided it was probably best to head to the First Aid building to raise it up for a bit to prevent further swelling. I got a fresh ice pack there as well and as I was changing it out, one of the workers took a look and said I probably should get an x-ray. They arranged transportation to a local walk-in emergency clinic. Nolan and my mom came with me while the other 3 boys and Ricky stayed behind to continue having fun. In fact, while we waited at the doctors office, he called to tell me that the DAS pass got them on the Avatar ride - one that typically has a 4-6 hour wait - in 15 minutes! I call that a HUGE win.

Six hours later...an x-ray confirmed...broken fibula at the ankle. :( It was getting late but we were able to make it back to Magic Kingdom a few minutes before the firework display started. Ricky and the boys met back up with us and although the rides were still open for a few more hours, we decided we should probably get on the road back to Sand Key. My foot was throbbing and I was so over being pushed around in a wheel chair in the crowds of people (which was no easy task for whoever had to do the pushing either).

This was before the swelling was even at its worst!

While our day at Disney didn't go quite as expected, the cast members were very eager to help and have made sure that we can come back to have a do-over at some point ;) When we come back to Disney, we will definitely be getting the DAS pass again. I truly feel that children with Apert syndrome deserve this extra convenience to make their time at Disney less stressful and extra special. I am grateful that Disney recognizes the need for a service like this and provides accommodations for individuals with varying needs.

Even leaving earlier than expected, everyone was worn out!

If you or a family member would like to learn more about the services available for individuals with disabilities or special needs, visit the Disney Parks Disability Access Service Card Fact Sheet.

If you would like to reach out to Susan Patel for help planning your Disney experience, you can email her at susan.patel@offtoneverland.com. Susan is a friend of mine - our kids go to the same school - so if you do, tell her Taryn @ More Skees Please sent you!

PART 1: Making the Decision and Planning

I am sharing one of my Instagram posts below from before my surgery as I think I covered most of the main "answers" to the "why are you doing this" question. I also have A LOT more photos documenting the whole process on my Instagram story called "MomMakeover", so I definitely encourage you to hop on over there and check it out. In the meantime, I will elaborate on the journey from start to finish here on the blog as well. Feel free to comment, ask questions or email me privately. Go to my Contact page for all the ways to reach me.



This body has carried 4 babies. This body has been a competitive gymnast, diver, swimmer, and a professional carrier of things (kids, groceries, shopping bags, laundry baskets...). It has been thin. It has been big. Healthy and strong. Ill and weak. This body is mine and I am proud of it.

With that said, this body is one I would like to improve. After 4 babies, not only did my thyroid crap out (hello Hashimotos and hypothyroidism!) but my skin and muscles suffered damage as well. I was blessed with deep stretch marks that pulled so tight they remain thin purple streaks across my entire stomach. My abdominal muscles were quite literally ripped apart with each pregnancy (diastasis recti). My belly button diminished into itself leaving behind a hole where I had 2 hernias that needed repaired. Child bearing is no joke! While I wouldn’t take any of it back for a minute - and I know just how lucky I am to have been able to experience the incredible miracle that is pregnancy and childbirth - it doesn’t change the fact that my confidence has suffered.

I’m at a point in my life where I have the time and energy to prioritize my health. My body. I’ve decided to revisit cosmetic surgery. A “mommy makeover” if you will. And before you start thinking that this choice is selfish, unnecessary or just plain stupid, I ask that you keep that to yourself. Believe me, I’ve already had and considered the very same negative thoughts.

I haven’t come to this decision lightly. In fact I had this exact surgery scheduled 4 years ago but chickened out and cancelled. I tried hard to make peace with my body as is. I did. But this is where I am. I’m okay with it. My husband is okay with it. And honestly, that is all that matters.

After a few consults with 2 of the best plastic surgeons in our area, I am excited to have come to a decision. I will be booking surgery next week to take place in the fall. I will be sharing each part of this journey. Whether you are considering a mommy makeover, have had it done, or just simply want to see the transformation, I hope you will follow along!
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Deciding to share this journey publicly was also one I did not come to lightly. Before I posted anything on social media about it, I thought long and hard about who I wanted to reach and why. I immediately thought of the numerous Google searches I did in preparation to make the decision to have this surgery. I probably watched hundreds of YouTube videos of others who had had it done. I was soaking up the information from every place I could - both online and by talking with those who were not ashamed to say they too had a "mommy makeover". 

All of those were so valuable in helping me make my decision and knowing where to go once I started to move forward with it. I knew that by sharing, I would eventually be able to help someone else who like me, struggled with whether or not this was the right choice for them. 

With that said, my older two boys are on Instagram (read about our Family Technology Guidelines here). Some of their 10 and 11 year old friends follow me on that platform so I am always very aware of what I share. 

I remember snapping the photos below in the mirror with the intention of sharing them as my "before" pictures on Instagram. Of course it was something I was nervous about - simply because who likes to showcase their imperfections online in that way. But I then started thinking less about myself and more about the people who would see it. My husband works at a large local professional business. My kids would see it and may die of embarrassment. What would they think? I thought it was important to get their input. 



I texted the photo to my husband at work. "Would you be embarrassed if I shared these photos on Instagram?" His immediate response, to my surprise, "not at all. you are beautiful babe and have nothing to be ashamed of". Okay, so I moved on to my oldest son. I went into his bedroom and showed him the pictures. "If I shared these on Instagram, would you be okay with it?" Again, a surprising response, "No. I mean it's your page. Do what you want." I felt like I had to at least tell him why I was asking, reminding him that some of his friends follow me and would see it. "Who cares," he shrugged. I was both shocked and proud. Next, I talked it over with Aiden. He just giggled and said "why do you want to post that?" I explained that I wanted to share my mommy makeover journey and part of that would be showing what my stomach looked like before vs. after. He giggled again and had just one small request. "Can you not show your top part, like, in your sports bra?" 

So I cropped my chest out of it and said "is this okay?" He said yes and that was that. I honestly thought one of them would urge me not to...so getting all of their blessings made it a little bit easier to push post. I mean why should I be embarrassed? It's my body and for all the reasons I listed above I should embrace it as part of this process. 

At that point I had already come to my decision to have the surgery. In fact, I had already consulted with 2 local surgeons as part of my research. Here is how that all went:

-- Scheduled initial consult appointments - had to wait a couple weeks to get in as both are busy plastic surgery practices.

-- Day of appointment - I was SOO nervous. It's pretty vulnerable to be wearing nothing under a gown knowing that when the doctor comes in, you will have to open it up and bare all. They have to feel, push on, move things around and get a look from multiple angles. Talk about uncomfortable. But then you have to remember that they do this multiple times a day every day of the week so it's not like it's nothing they've never seen before. I had done some research and had a few questions for each doctor (see "DO YOUR RESEARCH" below for my suggestions).

-- After consults - I met with 2 surgeons and while they were very different in terms of bedside manner and personality, both were great. I knew from their reputations that both were also very good at what they do. I laid out the pros and cons for each doctor and weighed that list in my decision making process. 

-- Scheduling surgery - Once I came to my decision on which doctor I would go with, I contacted the office and let them know. I was able to schedule my surgery for about 6 weeks later. Writing the date down on my calendar (and putting it in my phone) was surreal. I mentioned above that I had already scheduled this very procedure once before 4 years earlier, but then cancelled it when my nerves got the best of me. This time I felt much different. I was in a better place for sure. My kids were all a bit older and I was pretty much past the carrying a baby around on my hip stage.

-- As surgery day approached - I was excited for sure. It was hard for me to picture my body any different than it had been for almost 11 years, but I was no longer second guessing my decision like the first time around. With that said, I was EXTREMELY nervous and often had to put it out of my head as thinking about it would almost make me want to throw up. People would ask about it and I'd literally say "I can't talk about it" and move on to another subject. Even so, I knew the fear was natural.

-- Surgery day - The big day was finally here! I had childcare lined up and coordinated all the logistics of managing a busy household of 4 kids. I bought a HUGE weekly calendar and basically wrote down their schedules hour by hour - what time to wake them up for school, what they eat for breakfast, what time the bus comes for pick up and drop off, what activity they had after-school and thus what time each needed to eat dinner - the whole 9 yards. Not because I doubted whomever would be doing it in my absence, but rather because it made me feel like I was doing my part as a mom. After all, I was told that I would be down with little to no activity for at least 2 weeks. Ricky was taking the first few days off work to be home with me and manage the kids, then he was leaving for a scheduled work trip the following week so my cousin was flying down from Chicago to juggle it all. The morning of surgery my mom was there so Ricky could be with me at the hospital. I kissed my babies and sent them out the door for school, then headed on my way!

I will share more from surgery day and beyond in my next couple posts! Until then...here are some of my tips and recommendations for up to this point in the process:

1. DO YOUR RESEARCH - There are many ways to do this. Scour the internet (but carefully consider sources). Read all you can on the subject to learn best practices. There are scholarly journals (that may be too much medical jargon), YouTube videos, hashtags on Instagram that can point you in the right direction. Talk to others who you know have had the same procedure. You'll also want to read reviews from others who have experience with the particular doctors you are considering. 

2. MAKE A LIST OF QUESTIONS - Start compiling a list of questions you have so that when you meet with the various surgeons (and I recommend meeting with AT LEAST 2, but probably 3 or 4 would be best) you will not forget any of the important ones. I wanted a tummy tuck and a breast lift without implants. Here were some of mine:

• How many years have you been doing this? 
• What are your complication rates?
• Can you explain exactly what is done during the procedure? 
• Do you use drains? 
• Do you operate in a surgery center or at a hospital?
• What can I expect for recovery?
• How long before I can work out?
• Will my bra size change with just a lift?
• When can I drive?
• How much does it cost? 
• Do you offer financing?
• Do you offer any discounts for paying upfront?

3. PLAN YOUR SCHEDULE WELL IN ADVANCE - Managing a household or working outside the home take a TON of effort. When one parent is down (or the only parent in a single-parent household), straying from the schedule and relying on others can be daunting. Making sure you have the appropriate amount of time off work and enough help to handle the logistics of your family will prove to be SUPER important. Having a written calendar to lay out schedules is helpful. Communication is key. When deciding on your surgery date, look at your kiddos school calendar to determine any big projects that might be due or special activities that you may not want to miss.

4. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DIET AND EXERCISE ROUTINE PRIOR TO SURGERY - Most surgeons will recommend that you be at your "ideal weight" by surgery day. For many, that is just tough to do. The main reason behind this however is so that you don't come in overweight, expect to have surgery for weight-loss reasons, then be unhappy with your results if you a) don't come out looking thin and trim or b) lose a bunch of weight after surgery which would affect your results. It is a good idea to start and/or continue making healthy diet choices so you at the very least don't gain weight prior to surgery. Having healthy habits will make your recovery easier as well as give you results you are happier with.

5. PURCHASE RECOVERY ITEMS AND SET UP A RECOVERY SPOT - (See my Instagram story "MomMakeover" for photos that show my recovery spot and supplies.) I purchased a soft fabric recliner on a local buy/sell page for $100 months before my surgery. I knew from my research that I would likely not be able to sleep in bed for several weeks post-op. I also bought a small table that was easily accessible next to the recliner that included a USB plug-in attached to the top so I would have to fish for cords that fell next to me. You will want to pre-fill your prescriptions and have those close to your recovery spot too (you'll get the rX's at your final pre-op appointment). Below are links to products similar to those I bought ahead of time. (Please note, these are affiliate links through Amazon. Any purchases made through these links allows me to earn a very small commission.)

• small bedside table with USB port (I got mine at Target for about $50)
• zip-front sports bras (this is the one I had and I loved it. soft, easy to zip. I recommend ordering a size up for most comfort)
• gauze pads (this kind was good for any open wound areas so it didn't stick to garments/fabric)
• gauze squares (these were what I used to clean my incisions with hydrogen peroxide)
• hydrogen peroxide (any brand will do)
• dry shampoo (no shower for 5 days!)
• shower seat (I wasn't able to stand upright to shower for several weeks)
• heating pad (once you are up and moving, your back will hurt so bad from hunching over!)

6. FIGURE OUT YOUR PAYMENT OPTIONS - This procedure is not cheap. It is an investment you are making in yourself however, and I feel it is worth every penny. Discuss the cost upfront with your chosen surgeon. They should have an assistant who can walk you through your payment options. Most do not accept insurance (as these are typically elective procedures), but there are a few financing companies that plastic surgeons offices usually recommend. We financed my surgery through CareCredit which offers specific terms of repayment for a pre-determined period of time (usually 24-48 months).

7. DON'T HESITATE TO CONTACT YOUR SURGEONS OFFICE ANYTIME - If you've chosen a good surgeon with a good team, it will not be a problem at all to reach out with questions anytime prior to (or after) your surgery. I thought I had everything covered during the consults, but then thought of a hundred more questions afterwards. I was able to email with a nurse as often as I needed to discuss things as they came to mind. Good communication is very important, so make sure you pay close attention to this during the initial selection process.

*If you are in the Louisville, KY area (or beyond!) and are interested, the surgeon I chose was Dr. Nana Mizuguchi. You can read more about his practice, Mizuguchi Plastic Surgery, via his website: https://nanamd.com/. I highly recommend him and his entire team!