Family Technology Guidelines
A
few years ago, our oldest son Ethan asked us if he could create an Instagram
account. I believe he was 9 at the time and to put the subject matter off in
the moment, I may have said "when you're 10". It didn't get brought
up again.
Well, wouldn't you know that within minutes of
us showering him with "Happy Birthday" and a special 10 year old
breakfast request, Ethan reminded me that I said he could get Instagram when he
was 10. And here we were.
As someone who uses social media regularly in my
every day life, I felt like I needed to address the topic with him in a fair
and balanced way. I stayed true to my word and allowed him to download
Instagram to his iPod but spent quite a bit of time helping him understand the
benefits and risks of sharing online, whether in a private or public way.
We talked about general rules, things not to
do, photos not to publish, etc. and I felt comfortable granting him that
privilege. After all, Ethan was (and still is) quite mature for his age.
Once our second oldest, Aiden, caught wind, his
eyes got big. "So I can get Instagram when I'm 10?" Now Aiden is not
quite as mature for his age as Ethan, but how can I say no to one and not the
other? I left my response much more vague this time "We'll see," I
said.
And...here we are. On the eve of Aiden's big
double-digit birthday and guess what he's been talking about all day?
Instagram.
Our family is very "connected". My
kids have televisions in their bedrooms, iPads, Kindles, iPods. Basically, as
Ricky and I have upgraded our devices, we've either passed our old ones down or
at the very least kept them to give to the kids at some point down the line. My
kids all know how to find their way around passwords and YouTube searches - and
were pretty good at it even at the young age of 3!
While we have always made it clear that having
this access to technology is a privilege, it started to become overwhelming
setting and sticking to consistent rules surrounding time limits, parental
controls and ensuring privacy. I did a little research last year and came
across a device called Circle by Disney. It is a small box that we connect to
our home Wi-Fi that allows me to take care of all of that in one place. I
created a profile for each child, linked their individual devices to their account,
and from there I have set bed-times, usage times, restricted websites, games
and apps, and am also able to access how they spend their time online. It has
been a LIFE SAVER for my sanity - and has wreaked havoc on theirs ;)
Tonight, with Aiden anxiously awaiting access
to Instagram tomorrow, I knew I had to come up with a clear-cut way to
communicate the rules for our household. I finally went back through all my
saved posts on Pinterest on this very subject. There are so many great
resources, examples of contracts, and suggestions for explaining the risks of
being online to kids of all ages.
I pieced ours together with what works for our
family and thought I would share for anyone who may also be feeling the
pressure of kids using technology and social media at younger and younger
ages.
----------------- OUR FAMILY
TECHNOLOGY GUIDELINES ---------------
The device belongs to you. That means you take care of it
and YOU are responsible for it at all times. If it breaks? You fix it. If you
lose it? You buy a new one. If you let a friend play a game and they drop it
and crack the screen? You deal with a cracked screen or shell out the money to
repair it. With that said, the device can and will become OURS should you not
follow these guidelines:
1.
PRIVACY:
·
You will set a lock screen passcode for your
devices that allow it. Write it down and don’t forget it! Then provide that
passcode to mom and dad.
·
You will keep track of all passwords for email,
social media accounts and apps. All login information will be stored by mom and
dad in case you forget. None of this information is to be given to anyone
else…not even your best friend.
·
If for whatever reason you change your passwords
and fail to update us, you will lose your device. Period. We will always know
the password and we will always have access to your device upon request.
·
Not everything you read online or hear from
friends is correct. If you have questions about subject matter that may result
in inappropriate content online, ASK mom or dad. We will always have access to your
search history and visited links. If we find that you have visited sites with
inappropriate content, there will be consequences.
·
Do not post or share photos of friends or family
without their permission. Not everyone wants to be online. Not everyone is
ALLOWED to be online.
·
Do not send or ask someone else to send photos
of any body parts. Ever.
·
Do not engage with any person whom you do not
know personally.
·
Do not post or share personal information
including my full name, address, phone number, school or other identifying
information online unless discussed with mom or dad first (exceptions would be
made in certain situations where the info is needed).
·
If you come across inappropriate content online
– whether it was searched on purpose, sent to you by someone else or stumbled
upon by accident, you will let us know.
·
If something does not feel comfortable while
online, trust your gut. And then tell us.
2.
MANNERS:
·
When using your device always use your manners.
If someone texts you, respond. If someone calls you, answer! Talking on
FaceTime? Talk! Say hello! Have your clothes on. Say please and thank you.
Don’t swear. No cuss words. Be respectful.
·
If mom or dad calls or texts, and you have
possession of your device, YOU BETTER ANSWER/RESPOND. Failure to do so results
in loss of your device.
·
Do not use this technology to lie, deceive, make
fun of or fool another human being. Do not be any part of group conversations
that do any of the above. Be a good human. Do not say anything through a text
or phone call on any device that you would not say in person. Do not text,
email or say anything that you would not say in front of your mom or dad.
3.
APPS, GAMES
+ MUSIC:
·
You will only download apps and/or games that
are approved by mom and dad. This includes (but is not limited to) social media
apps like Instagram, Facebook, SnapChat, etc. and any games, music or movies that
may be rated above your age limit.
·
You are not allowed to make in-app purchases
unless okayed by mom and dad. Wasting money on gimmicks and game “upgrades” is
silly. If you have iTunes credit, you may spend it as you wish, but once it is
gone, it’s gone.
·
Unless given permission, all social media accounts
will remain “private” and will not be made “public” at any time.
·
You are not allowed to communicate with
strangers within apps through private messages, instant messages, texting, etc.
·
You will not watch or listen to content that is
inappropriate. This includes music, movies and YouTube videos with foul
language, adult content or other offensive material. If you stumble upon
something that may get you in trouble, turn it off then let us know.
4.
USAGE:
·
Unless you have specific permission otherwise,
you will turn off/silence and put away your device when in public or during
face to face conversation.
·
Your device will not be allowed at the table
while eating meals. That includes breakfast, lunch and dinner.
·
On school nights, your devices are not to be
used after 9pm. That includes iPads, iPods and computers. Televisions and
Amazon Echos have different rules that may vary.
·
Devices should be charging and unused from 9pm
on. They may stay in your room to charge, but if I see activity after 9pm, it
will need to be turned in to mom and dads room each night at 9pm going forward.
·
If you forget to charge your device overnight
and want/need to use it the next day…too bad. Plug it in and wait!
·
Weekend rules may vary also (depending on your
behavior and our moods).
We know you will make mistakes and the consequences may
include taking your devices away. But we hope you will learn from your mistakes
and move forward. Every single one of these guidelines is what is best for you
even if you don’t understand or agree with them. It is our hope that you take
the above guidelines seriously and follow these terms as they are written.
Technology is a fun and exciting thing when used appropriately and safely. But
it is a privilege and it is our job as your parents to make sure it is not
abused.
We love you so so much!
Mom + Dad
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have read and understand all the technology guidelines as
outlined above. I will agree to abide by these guidelines with the knowledge
that there will be consequences otherwise:
SIGNED: ____________________________________________ DATE:__________________________
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