Breaking up (with your doctor) is hard to do
Remember how just 6 weeks ago I wrote this post? Yeah, well it's finally caught up to me. This carrying-a-human-being-in-my-belly thing.I'm no longer basking in the glow of pregnancy. I feel huge, which makes the fact that I have another TWELVE weeks kind of disheartening. How in the world will my baby have room? How will I breathe? How will I walk?
I'm officially in the 3rd trimester (!) and this little boy is proving to be just as active as Ethan and Aiden were in utero. Yes, I did confirm that this baby is indeed a boy (this may be the one time in history my mom was proven wrong)...
Don't get me wrong, as uncomfortable as I am, I am equally in awe of the amazing ways a body accommodates a growing baby. When I'm sitting very still and Hudson begins his frequent dancing it amazes me that I can look down and physically see my belly rise and fall with his movements. The pain? The discomfort? Doesn't matter in those moments when I'm reminded that 'HEY! There is a BABY in there!' ("Like" More Skees Please on Facebook to see video of Hudson's belly dance)
In other news, I recently made a huge decision regarding my pregnancy.
I broke up with my doctor.
Yep - after several months of just not feeling great about the care I was receiving, I finally decided to take matters into my own hands and search for a new provider. It was kind of scary - the prospect of leaving the doctor that I have been with since our move to Texas. After all, he is the one who has seen me through infertility, two miscarriages and finally getting pregnant. Ironically, it wasn't until I was actually pregnant that I feel things began to go down hill.
From the moment I got pregnant, he seemed uncomfortable having me as a patient. Maybe it's my history of preterm labor that scared him or having had a child with a surprise diagnosis at birth. Or, perhaps it is all in my head. I'm not really sure but in the end it doesn't really matter. His perceived lack of confidence and/or patience didn't sit well with me.
I confessed early on that I was going to be nervous this go around. Surprisingly, once we got past the 1st trimester my nerves settled. I love my high-risk OB and have been reassured through multiple screenings and ultrasounds that this baby looks 100% healthy.
But comments like "you don't need to call me with questions once you hit 20 weeks - if you can afford it, just go straight to the Women's Center" and "besides, this baby isn't even viable at this point" when I was 18 weeks along seemed a bit uncaring. I want someone who is interested in being there for me. Who will take my phone calls - as frequent as they may be - and at least try to answer some questions without sending me straight to the hospital for someone else to deal with me.
I want - no, I deserve - someone who recognizes that telling a patient who spent a year trying to conceive and who suffered two miscarriages that the pregnancy isn't "viable" yet might not be the most encouraging way to go about things. These insensitive comments, along with a few other incidents that brought about some trust issues, led me to take the giant leap of faith at 27 weeks along.
I'm happy to report that I've met with and selected a new doctor and am very confident in my choice! One less thing to stress about :)
Have you ever left a doctor after a period of time?
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After the way you were treated, I think you should share this post with him as well as with other Austin/Round Rock Mama's. Doctor's are supposed to provide care for their patients. What a loser.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you're not the only one who feels that way about that jerk!
With my middle daughter, we used a midwife. I loved the midwife we picked for the first few months... and then things turned horrible. I left every appointment in tears. I told her from the start that I was not comfortable with a home birth, that I wanted a birth center birth. She said that was fine, her birth center was there for my use. Around 7 months along, she told me I needed to order my stuff for the home birth. When I said no, birth center, she told me the birth center was booked and I needed to get used to the idea of a home birth. This sent me into a tail spin and severe anxiety attacks. I finally confessed to Steven that I HATED her. I HATED HER. I was having pregnancy-induced fantasies of murdering her. So at 36 weeks, we hired a new midwife and fired the old one. We met the new midwife once, had 1 check up, and then BAM, my water broke. And even after only having met the new midwife twice, I trusted her more than the 1st midwife I'd been seeing for the past 7 months.
ReplyDeleteYes, he definitely needs a lesson in bedside manners. I am glad you were able to find a doctor who better suited your needs. It's important to go to a doctor you can trust.
ReplyDeleteAs a ex labor and delivery nurse, I say trust your intuition and fly away from him/her. I personally think your intuition served you right and you made the right decision. I did leave the doctor that I worked for and one who delivered my three kids for another when I saw that he became too busy, too abrupt and too impatient. Good move.
ReplyDeleteSharon Skees Lesner
Yup, I've left a doctor before for the same general reasons. (But can I just say it? What the HECK? Not viable?! Whoa. I'm so sorry. You poor girl to have to hear that crap.) It seems to happen a lot these days, that some doctors will allow people to book every 15 minutes of their days, and of course that leads to rushed, impatient, and ultimately less sensitive interactions with their patients. It's very sad and SUCH a risky, wrong thing to do, considering they kind of have our LIVES in their hands... Yikes!!! You know?
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