To Know Love
I've been fortunate enough to experience love in many ways throughout my life. I grew up in a very loving household with strong relationships with both my immediate and extended family. My sister and mom are my best friends, and my cousins and girlfriends are like my sisters. My father worked hard, giving us many opportunities for travel, extracurricular activities and a life that I cannot complain about.
My parents have been married for almost 40 years which set a solid foundation for the kind of partnership I knew I wanted to find. It wasn't always easy for them but through all the ups and downs their love remained constant. Ricky and I have been married for just under 6 years. Becoming parents ourselves has added a new dimension to our relationship. While I can definitely give credit to my parents and to my husband for showing me what it felt to be loved, it is my children who have allowed me to fully understand what it feels to have love consume your heart in a way it never has before.
Friday, Aiden will turn three.
That means it has been three whole years since we were introduced to a new version of ourselves - as individuals, as parents, as a couple, as a family.
Our journey in parenthood has taken us on quite a rollercoaster ride over the past few years. But despite all of the dips and valleys, what shines above it all is the high points, the peaks. The moments where gravity lifted me out of my seat and filled my stomach with that bit of joy and excitement that keeps you coming back for more. That hard to explain emotion where even though you may be afraid of what's up ahead you now know you have it in you to forge on.
We were scared when Aiden was born - I'm not ashamed to admit that. I worried about not only the future he would have, but also about how my life would now be different, not quite as "easy". The motherly love was there from the start, however it was not until things settled down a bit after Aiden's intitial surgeries where I was able to clearly assess how my heart had changed.
To know love is to hold your baby's tiny hand at his bedside in the NICU for hours at a time. To know love is to learn firsthand that your child will teach you more in his first year of life about compassion, resiliance and hope than the previous 26 years you spent on this earth. To know love is to see your child prove you wrong in so many complex and beautiful ways. To know love is to watch your children's bond develop stronger than you'd ever imagined. To know love is to realize that what I once worried was taken from me forever - the chance for a "normal" life - was actually given to me the day that Aiden was born.
Because all I've ever wanted in my life was to be a mother. And to know love.
Happy Birthday Aiden ~ I am so lucky to be your mommy! Thank you for making my dreams come true!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments
(
Atom
)
A beautiful post, and of course, I'm a mess! Happy Birthday Aiden. You are awesome!
ReplyDeleteLove you Aiden! Happy Birthday! And thanks, Taryn, for turning on the faucet!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove, Aunt Lauren
This is perfect Taryn. Love you!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely beautiful !
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful... It'd be great to send in response to some of these articles that keep popping up about parents and happiness. Apparently a new study showed that parents' happiness levels on average are way lower than nonparents of the same age, but parents say they can't imagine life without their kids, so the new theory is that parenting is such a huge sacrifice that parents subconsciously try to justify it after the fact by convincing themselves their kids are worth it. It's so sad, and it just seems like the study totally misses the point. Everything you've written here - love doesn't always mean happiness, sometimes it means a lot of work and hurt, but it's way more valuable than happiness alone ever could be... I'd love to see it as a response in the letters to the editor section somewhere.
ReplyDelete